Belonging is a Superpower

We all want to matter in the world. The feeling is universal.

In Belonging: A Culture of Place, bell hooks wrote, “I dreamed about a culture of belonging. I still dream that dream. I contemplate what our lives would be like if we knew how to cultivate awareness, to live mindfully, peacefully; if we learned habits of being that would bring us closer together, that would help us build beloved community.”

For young adults, the desire to matter can overwhelm everything else. When we sense that we don’t matter to our peers and we don’t matter at school, it’s hard to breathe. It leaves us yearning for connection.

Reflecting on what it feels like to be alone, one student at the Denver Center for 21st Century Learning mentioned a Fall Out Boy song, “Alone Together,” which includes the plea, “I’m outside the door, invite me in.” We all want to be invited in.

Now for the first time, research is confirming the link between our yearning for connection and our performance in school and at work.

“It turns out that belonging is a superpower. When students feel they have purpose and meaning in their lives, when they know they belong and are engaged in positive relationships, they flourish. The benefits show up in higher test scores and increased engagement at school and work. These benefits generate feedback loops,” says Julia Hughes, Senior Director at Colorado Youth for a Change (CYC).

CYC is the lead nonprofit for The Denver Opportunity Youth Initiative (DOYI), a regional effort launched in 2012 to expand employment and education pathways and opportunities for 9,000 young adults ages 16-24 who are not in school and not working.

To improve academic and employment outcomes, it may seem like schools and youth-serving nonprofits should just drill harder on tutoring and training. The problem is that the negative experiences that emerge when students do not feel like they belong suppress performance.

Many students know answers to the math, science, and reading test questions, but the weight of loneliness and isolation hampers performance. When students know they belong and believe they matter, these conditions unlock their full talents. This is what it means to flourish.

Research aside, young adults know how this works. They know how fragile things can be when it comes to finding an authentic fit in school. “If one thing goes wrong and you’re in a bad spot, things start to cycle and swirl,” one Denver student said at a DOYI gathering.

Likewise, the students know it when they find conditions that allow them to flourish. At recent DOYI youth forums, Denver students described situations where they know they belong:

“Belonging makes me feel welcome. Before here I was lost in the sauce. This gave me a purpose. It gave me a sense of purpose when someone wanted to hire me.”
“Their culture is really important.”
“When I have good people near me – good vibes.”
“Having a purpose makes you have goals and have motivation to achieve those goals.”
My teacher “makes me feel realize, girl – you belong here.”
“When I’m out sick, they make sure to check in on me and my grades. When I started high school, I found they do care.”
“Positive relationships – teachers, friends, people –make you better and help you strive for more.”
 

The corporate world has long known the effects of culture on performance. The management consultant Peter Drucker described why CEOs needed to focus on building the right culture. Over the years, the admonition has been distilled to one line: “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” It’s the same with education and workforce training programs. Absent a strong culture, the strategic promise is lost. Building a strong culture starts with creating conditions that let students know they belong.

To join our work on building belonging, meaning, wellbeing, and purpose in partnership with young people, sign up for The Denver Opportunity Youth Initiative (DOYI) working group or communications.